In many cultures, childless wKenya is one of the countries in the "African infertility belt" that stretches across central Africa from the United Republic of Tanzania to the East to Gabon to the West. In this region, a phenomenon described as "barrenness amid plenty" refers to the fact that infertility is often most prevalent where fertility rates are also high.Women suffer discrimination, stigma and ostracism.
The stigmatisation can be extreme in some countries, where infertile people are viewed as a burden on the socio-economic well-being of a community. Stigma extends to the wider family, including siblings, parents and in-laws, who are deeply disappointed for the loss of continuity of their family and contribution to their community. This amplifies the guilt and shame felt by the infertile individual. The cultural misconceptions and the emotional burden, especially for women, is often unbearable.
How to support your partner through your infertility journey.
1) Ask what you can do to help. Both men and women sometimes have no idea what their partner needs or wants from them. Ask. On the flip side, when telling your partner what you need, be specific. Don’t just say, “Be more supportive.” Explain exactly what being supportive means to you.
(2) Get outside help. There are counsellors out there, like myself, specifically trained to assist people dealing with infertility.
(3) Connect with others. Sometimes couples can feel incredibly isolated when they are struggling to conceive, especially if none of their family or friends have dealt with infertility. There are both in-person and online support groups designed to allow people facing infertility to connect with others going through the same thing.
(4) Practice self-compassion. Acknowledge that what you are going through, as a couple, is very difficult. Be kind to yourself and to each other. Be patient and forgiving with yourself and your partner as you move through this journey. Even if you do not share your partner’s feelings about infertility, you can still stay close and connected. And that, in the end, will help you get through it more than anything.
mr price
Tuesday 19 April 2016
wives leaving jobs to be housewives
Housewives
A housewife is a woman whose main occupation is running or managing her family's home—caring for and educating her children; buying, preparing and storing food for the family; buying goods the family needs in everyday life, cleaning and maintaining the home, making clothes for the family, etc.—and who is generally not employed outside the home.
Men make far fewer compromises than women to balance professional success and personal fulfillment," which mostly force women to leave their upgrading studies and jobs to remain at home because of the kids.
A housewife may feel happy at times that she can stay at home when her husband goes to work, but the truth is that there are many disadvantages of a housewife when compared to a working woman. The working woman may not go out to work, but she still usually is the person who does all the household chores and she also has to get the kids ready for school.
In fact, there are many women who are housewives and seem to be working all the day and finally, they do not get any money for all the work that they do. A working woman on the other hand does all the work, but is also able to get a salary that will help to overcome all the problems that the person has faced while working.
Some of the many disadvantages of a housewife over a working woman are as follows.
1. Lack of money:
The working woman is able to earn money on her own and so she is able to lead an independent lifestyle. On the other hand, a woman who is a housewife will not have money to spend and she has to be dependent on the money that is given to her by her husband for all her needs. This is one of the major disadvantages of a housewife.
2. Lack of recognition:
Though a housewife may be working all the time for the family by cooking, teaching the kids, cleaning the house and doing a lot of other chores in and around the house, she rarely has any recognition and is thought to be a person who is living off the income of the husband. This is a very common thought for the male who is the breadwinner of the family. He feels that only he is working and the housewife is not doing any work that is meaningful.
3. Lack of supplementary income:
These days, when the cost of living is high and the family, especially the children has a lot off needs in terms of education and other curricular and extracurricular activities, the parents need to earn as much as possible for the kids to be able to do well in education. When only one person in the family is earning, then the needs of the family is higher.
4. Frog in the well:
The housewife is caught in the daily routine and she is never able to relax or unwind. She also becomes the proverbial frog in the well and is not able to have an exposure to the outside world. She becomes more vulnerable because of this.
5. Risk:
If there is a risk to the breadwinner of the family, then the whole source of income is gone as the family was dependent on the income of one person. To make sure that this is not the case, a woman has to work. This is another disadvantage that a housewife faces when compared to the working woman.
These are some of the major disadvantages of the housewife, when compared to the working woman. In spite of this, the debate goes on and on because there are a few advantages of staying at home too. In this situation, there are a new breed of mothers who stay at home and then earn from the home.
A housewife is a woman whose main occupation is running or managing her family's home—caring for and educating her children; buying, preparing and storing food for the family; buying goods the family needs in everyday life, cleaning and maintaining the home, making clothes for the family, etc.—and who is generally not employed outside the home.
Men make far fewer compromises than women to balance professional success and personal fulfillment," which mostly force women to leave their upgrading studies and jobs to remain at home because of the kids.
A housewife may feel happy at times that she can stay at home when her husband goes to work, but the truth is that there are many disadvantages of a housewife when compared to a working woman. The working woman may not go out to work, but she still usually is the person who does all the household chores and she also has to get the kids ready for school.
In fact, there are many women who are housewives and seem to be working all the day and finally, they do not get any money for all the work that they do. A working woman on the other hand does all the work, but is also able to get a salary that will help to overcome all the problems that the person has faced while working.
Some of the many disadvantages of a housewife over a working woman are as follows.
1. Lack of money:
The working woman is able to earn money on her own and so she is able to lead an independent lifestyle. On the other hand, a woman who is a housewife will not have money to spend and she has to be dependent on the money that is given to her by her husband for all her needs. This is one of the major disadvantages of a housewife.
2. Lack of recognition:
Though a housewife may be working all the time for the family by cooking, teaching the kids, cleaning the house and doing a lot of other chores in and around the house, she rarely has any recognition and is thought to be a person who is living off the income of the husband. This is a very common thought for the male who is the breadwinner of the family. He feels that only he is working and the housewife is not doing any work that is meaningful.
3. Lack of supplementary income:
These days, when the cost of living is high and the family, especially the children has a lot off needs in terms of education and other curricular and extracurricular activities, the parents need to earn as much as possible for the kids to be able to do well in education. When only one person in the family is earning, then the needs of the family is higher.
4. Frog in the well:
The housewife is caught in the daily routine and she is never able to relax or unwind. She also becomes the proverbial frog in the well and is not able to have an exposure to the outside world. She becomes more vulnerable because of this.
5. Risk:
If there is a risk to the breadwinner of the family, then the whole source of income is gone as the family was dependent on the income of one person. To make sure that this is not the case, a woman has to work. This is another disadvantage that a housewife faces when compared to the working woman.
These are some of the major disadvantages of the housewife, when compared to the working woman. In spite of this, the debate goes on and on because there are a few advantages of staying at home too. In this situation, there are a new breed of mothers who stay at home and then earn from the home.
Why people re-marry
Remarriage is a marriage that takes place after a previous marital union has ended, as through divorce or widowhood. Some individuals are more likely to remarry than others; the likelihood can differ based on previous relationship status (e.g. divorced vs. widowed), level of interest in establishing a new romantic relationship, gender, race, and age among other factors. Those who choose not to remarry may prefer alternative arrangements like cohabitation or Living Apart Together. Remarriage also provides mental and physical health benefits. However, although remarried individuals tend to have better health than individuals who do not repatner, they still generally have worse health than individuals who have remained continuously married.
Remarriage can be as a source of:
Remarriage following divorce or separation
Remarriage following widowhood
When you mention the word “remarriage” to a newly divorced friend and you’re likely to get laughed at, cursed at, or some combination of the two.
With stats suggesting second marriages are more likely to fail than first unions, it’s easy to see why the divorced among us might be a little hesitant to say “I do” once more.
But instead of dwelling on the hurdles facing those marrying again (and really, what marriage doesn’t have its problems?), what if we focused on the ways spouses could work to create stronger marriages the second time around?
After all, an unsuccessful first marriage doesn’t necessarily mean you’re fated to divorce .
Remarriage is a marriage that takes place after a previous marital union has ended, as through divorce or widowhood. Some individuals are more likely to remarry than others; the likelihood can differ based on previous relationship status (e.g. divorced vs. widowed), level of interest in establishing a new romantic relationship, gender, race, and age among other factors. Those who choose not to remarry may prefer alternative arrangements like cohabitation or Living Apart Together. Remarriage also provides mental and physical health benefits. However, although remarried individuals tend to have better health than individuals who do not repatner, they still generally have worse health than individuals who have remained continuously married.
Remarriage can be as a source of:
Remarriage following divorce or separation
 |
| The man is free to re-marry |
Remarriage following widowhood
When you mention the word “remarriage” to a newly divorced friend and you’re likely to get laughed at, cursed at, or some combination of the two.
With stats suggesting second marriages are more likely to fail than first unions, it’s easy to see why the divorced among us might be a little hesitant to say “I do” once more.
But instead of dwelling on the hurdles facing those marrying again (and really, what marriage doesn’t have its problems?), what if we focused on the ways spouses could work to create stronger marriages the second time around?
After all, an unsuccessful first marriage doesn’t necessarily mean you’re fated to divorce .
wife inheritance
Widow inheritance (also known as bride inheritance) is a cultural and social practice whereby a widow is required to marry a male relative of her late husband, often his brother. Examples of widow inheritance can be found in ancient and biblical times in the form of levirate marriage
The practice was meant as a means for the widow to have someone to support her and her children financially, and to keep her late husband's wealth within the family bloodline. At the time it was initiated, women were responsible for the house chores and men were the providers, therefore if the woman lost her husband, she would have no one to provide for the remaining family. Because her in-laws would not want someone outside of the family's blood line to inherit her late husband's estate, she was required to marry within the family.An example is in the luo culture:
Luo Wife Inheritance is a custom practiced by the Luo people of western Kenya. In this practice, "if a man dies, one of his brothers or close relatives inherits his widow and must meet all of her marital requirements."
The practice was meant as a means for the widow to have someone to support her and her children financially, and to keep her late husband's wealth within the family bloodline. At the time it was initiated, women were responsible for the house chores and men were the providers, therefore if the woman lost her husband, she would have no one to provide for the remaining family. Because her in-laws would not want someone outside of the family's blood line to inherit her late husband's estate, she was required to marry within the family.An example is in the luo culture:
Luo Wife Inheritance is a custom practiced by the Luo people of western Kenya. In this practice, "if a man dies, one of his brothers or close relatives inherits his widow and must meet all of her marital requirements."
Monday 18 April 2016
Mixed Status Relationship
Dealing with a mixed status relationship.
A mixed status relationship is a sexual relationship in which one partner is HIV positive and the other is HIV negative.They are also called Serodiscordant.
If you are living with HIV you may be wondering whether you can ever date or get married,the answer is YES!
How to keep yourself and your partner healthy
You can still keep yourself and your partner healthy and here are some steps you can take to reduce the risking of trasmitting HIV from you to him or her.
a. Use of antiretrovital therapy (ART).It reduces the amount of virus on your blood and body fluids.
b. Use condoms correctly and consistenly.Condoms are highly effective in preventing HIV/AIDS.
c. Choose less risky sexual behaviours like oral sex is much less risky than anal sex or vaginal sex.
d. Talk to your partner about pre-exposure prophylaxis(PrEP).(PrEP) is a way for people who dont have HIV to prevent HIV infection by taking a pill every day.
Wednesday 13 April 2016
Why No to Marriage
"You probably shouldn't get married if..."
1. “You are unwilling to put the needs of another person above your own. Romans 12:10 says, ‘Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.’ In the Greek, ‘devoted’ is defined in this verse as reciprocal tenderness, while ‘honor’ is identified as showing deference to another person. How often are these characteristics apparent in how you behave toward your fiancé or spouse?
2. “You are easily offended, carry grudges and are unwilling to forgive. An overly sensitive, vengeful or calloused attitude has no place in any relationship, especially a marriage. The Bible gives you the challenging yet correct standard: ‘Forgive as the Lord forgave you’ (Colossians 3:13).
3. “You are an abusive person (mentally, emotionally, physically). Author and domestic violence expert Lundy Bancroft finds that abusers —who, by the way, are primarily men but also include women —abuse for a variety of reasons, including a need for power and control, finding someone to blame for their problems, and wanting to be the center of attention. Do you see yourself anywhere in these attributes?
4. “You do not share the same beliefs, values, life priorities or vision. ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh’ (Genesis 2:24). Oneness is essential in marriage, and its foundation is built on these characteristics.
5. “You have an unresolved addiction problem. ‘Like a city whose walls are broken down,’ Proverbs 25:28 says, ‘is a man who lacks self-control.
6. “Your career is the most important thing in your life. Philippians 2:3 says, ‘Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.’ Selfish ambition is interpreted in the Greek as ‘a desire to put one’s self forward, a partisan and fractious spirit,’ while vain conceit is identified as ‘groundless, empty pride.’ Examine how your profession shapes who you are. Does it bring out these traits in you?
7. “You are unwilling to be an active sexual partner with your spouse. As a couple, read 1 Corinthians 7:1-5. The Bible speaks directly to this vital issue; verse 3 is clear: ‘The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.’ There’s no room in a healthy marriage for sexual games, and an active sexual relationship works to ward off temptation to sin.
“Don’t be discouraged if you struggle with any of the above reasons. A quality marriage is not defined as one that’s perfect. But do yourself, and your future or current spouse, a favor by committing to change or grow stronger individually in each area. You won’t regret it, and will be able to face and overcome the “troubles” of marriage with unity and in God’s power.”
1. “You are unwilling to put the needs of another person above your own. Romans 12:10 says, ‘Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.’ In the Greek, ‘devoted’ is defined in this verse as reciprocal tenderness, while ‘honor’ is identified as showing deference to another person. How often are these characteristics apparent in how you behave toward your fiancé or spouse?
2. “You are easily offended, carry grudges and are unwilling to forgive. An overly sensitive, vengeful or calloused attitude has no place in any relationship, especially a marriage. The Bible gives you the challenging yet correct standard: ‘Forgive as the Lord forgave you’ (Colossians 3:13).
3. “You are an abusive person (mentally, emotionally, physically). Author and domestic violence expert Lundy Bancroft finds that abusers —who, by the way, are primarily men but also include women —abuse for a variety of reasons, including a need for power and control, finding someone to blame for their problems, and wanting to be the center of attention. Do you see yourself anywhere in these attributes?4. “You do not share the same beliefs, values, life priorities or vision. ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh’ (Genesis 2:24). Oneness is essential in marriage, and its foundation is built on these characteristics.
5. “You have an unresolved addiction problem. ‘Like a city whose walls are broken down,’ Proverbs 25:28 says, ‘is a man who lacks self-control.
6. “Your career is the most important thing in your life. Philippians 2:3 says, ‘Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.’ Selfish ambition is interpreted in the Greek as ‘a desire to put one’s self forward, a partisan and fractious spirit,’ while vain conceit is identified as ‘groundless, empty pride.’ Examine how your profession shapes who you are. Does it bring out these traits in you?
7. “You are unwilling to be an active sexual partner with your spouse. As a couple, read 1 Corinthians 7:1-5. The Bible speaks directly to this vital issue; verse 3 is clear: ‘The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.’ There’s no room in a healthy marriage for sexual games, and an active sexual relationship works to ward off temptation to sin.
“Don’t be discouraged if you struggle with any of the above reasons. A quality marriage is not defined as one that’s perfect. But do yourself, and your future or current spouse, a favor by committing to change or grow stronger individually in each area. You won’t regret it, and will be able to face and overcome the “troubles” of marriage with unity and in God’s power.”
Absentee Fathers
When dad isn't there.
There has been increasing interest by governments and social commentators in the effects of the absent father on the development of those within the remaining family unit.
As a result thousands of studies have since been conducted. These studies have repeatedly uncovered a staggering array of issues inflicted particularly on the children of father absent households.
Interestingly it has been shown that the affects of emotionally unavailable fathers were almost identical to those where the father was physically absent.
The affects covered everything from physical differences (i.e. the quickened development into and through puberty of children raised with no father present) through to many and varied social and physiological issues.
The summary of issues listed below, in no way covers every aspect of father absence however it is still a powerful indictment to the current social epidemic.
In reference to the general population individuals raised in a father absent environment demonstrate;
1. 5 times the average suicide rate:
2. Dramatically increased rates of depression and anxiety:
3. 32 times the average rate of incarceration:
4. Decreased education levels and increased drop-out rates:
5. Consistently lower average income levels:
6. Lower job security:
7. Increased rates of divorce and relationship issues:
8. Substantially increased rates of substance abuse: and
9. Increases in social and mental behavioural issues:
Whilst the list above outlines the devastating foundation that father absence sets it does not begin to address the subtle aspect of father absence.
How do you measure a sense of abandonment and betrayal, how do you measure the feeling of not fitting in and of being different.
Father absence in many ways steals our birthright; it takes from us our inherent and natural internal structures. These are the frameworks that we rely on every day in every aspect of our lives, whether it be in our relationships, our level of happiness, our health, our behaviour, our prosperity or level of success.
If these inherent frameworks are missing or not allowed to fully develop we really never have a chance to realise our full potential.
 |
| Emotional child |
There has been increasing interest by governments and social commentators in the effects of the absent father on the development of those within the remaining family unit.
As a result thousands of studies have since been conducted. These studies have repeatedly uncovered a staggering array of issues inflicted particularly on the children of father absent households.
Interestingly it has been shown that the affects of emotionally unavailable fathers were almost identical to those where the father was physically absent.
The summary of issues listed below, in no way covers every aspect of father absence however it is still a powerful indictment to the current social epidemic.
In reference to the general population individuals raised in a father absent environment demonstrate;
1. 5 times the average suicide rate:
2. Dramatically increased rates of depression and anxiety:
3. 32 times the average rate of incarceration:
4. Decreased education levels and increased drop-out rates:
5. Consistently lower average income levels:
6. Lower job security:
7. Increased rates of divorce and relationship issues:
8. Substantially increased rates of substance abuse: and
9. Increases in social and mental behavioural issues:
Whilst the list above outlines the devastating foundation that father absence sets it does not begin to address the subtle aspect of father absence.
How do you measure a sense of abandonment and betrayal, how do you measure the feeling of not fitting in and of being different.
Father absence in many ways steals our birthright; it takes from us our inherent and natural internal structures. These are the frameworks that we rely on every day in every aspect of our lives, whether it be in our relationships, our level of happiness, our health, our behaviour, our prosperity or level of success.
If these inherent frameworks are missing or not allowed to fully develop we really never have a chance to realise our full potential.
Wednesday 6 April 2016
Marriage and Religion
Inter and intra-faith marriages
Inter-faith marriages, also known as fixed marriages are marriages that involve partners prophesying different religions. In most instances interfaith marriages are viewed as civil marriages but they are at times contracted as religious marriages. This depends on religious prohibitions against the marriage by the religion of one (or both) spouses, based on religious doctrine or tradition.
Interfaith marriage is also distinct from interracial and inter-ethnic marriage (also known as "mixed marriage"), since spouses in an interfaith marriage may share the same race or ethnicity.
In some religions, religious doctrines prohibit interfaith marriages. In others, religious tradition opposes interfaith marriage but may allow it in limited circumstances. Several major religions are mute on the issue, and still others allow it with requirements for ceremony and custom. For ethno-religious groups resistance to interfaith marriage may be a form of self-segregation.
There is also interfaith marriages which involves the union of two individuals of the same faith or religion but from different denominations. An example can be when a Catholic gets married or marries a protestant. This kind of marriages is more common and widely accepted as compared to interfaith marriage since most denominations belonging to one religion usually have similar beliefs and practices. This often makes it less hectic for spouces in this kind of marriage.
Inter-faith marriages, also known as fixed marriages are marriages that involve partners prophesying different religions. In most instances interfaith marriages are viewed as civil marriages but they are at times contracted as religious marriages. This depends on religious prohibitions against the marriage by the religion of one (or both) spouses, based on religious doctrine or tradition.
 |
| A Muslim and a non-Muslim |
Interfaith marriage is also distinct from interracial and inter-ethnic marriage (also known as "mixed marriage"), since spouses in an interfaith marriage may share the same race or ethnicity.
In some religions, religious doctrines prohibit interfaith marriages. In others, religious tradition opposes interfaith marriage but may allow it in limited circumstances. Several major religions are mute on the issue, and still others allow it with requirements for ceremony and custom. For ethno-religious groups resistance to interfaith marriage may be a form of self-segregation.
There is also interfaith marriages which involves the union of two individuals of the same faith or religion but from different denominations. An example can be when a Catholic gets married or marries a protestant. This kind of marriages is more common and widely accepted as compared to interfaith marriage since most denominations belonging to one religion usually have similar beliefs and practices. This often makes it less hectic for spouces in this kind of marriage.
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