pain of childlessness in marriages

In many cultures, childless wKenya is one of the countries in the "African infertility belt" that stretches across central Africa from the United Republic of Tanzania to the East to Gabon to the West. In this region, a phenomenon described as "barrenness amid plenty" refers to the fact that infertility is often most prevalent where fertility rates are also high.Women suffer discrimination, stigma and ostracism.

The stigmatisation can be extreme in some countries, where infertile people are viewed as a burden on the socio-economic well-being of a community. Stigma extends to the wider family, including siblings, parents and in-laws, who are deeply disappointed for the loss of continuity of their family and contribution to their community. This amplifies the guilt and shame felt by the infertile individual. The cultural misconceptions and the emotional burden, especially for women, is often unbearable.

  How to support your partner through your infertility journey.

1) Ask what you can do to help. Both men and women sometimes have no idea what their partner needs or wants from them. Ask. On the flip side, when telling your partner what you need, be specific. Don’t just say, “Be more supportive.” Explain exactly what being supportive means to you.

(2) Get outside help. There are counsellors out there, like myself, specifically trained to assist people dealing with infertility.

(3) Connect with others. Sometimes couples can feel incredibly isolated when they are struggling to conceive, especially if none of their family or friends have dealt with infertility. There are both in-person and online support groups designed to allow people facing infertility to connect with others going through the same thing.

(4) Practice self-compassion. Acknowledge that what you are going through, as a couple, is very difficult. Be kind to yourself and to each other. Be patient and forgiving with yourself and your partner as you move through this journey. Even if you do not share your partner’s feelings about infertility, you can still stay close and connected. And that, in the end, will help you get through it more than anything.